January 4, 2020

Al Yusra

Posted in Keeping it Real, Uncategorized at 3:10 am by relief1

Verily with every difficulty there is relief, verily with every difficulty there is relief.

Life is a struggle but when it comes down to it in the end it is just you and Allah, you and your deeds.  So we need to focus on ourselves first, take care of our self first.

Life is a journey and if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t have the power to take care of someone else.  If not, you start to look towards other people for your happiness, like your kids, spouse, or family.  You have to prioritize you first.  One has to learn how to get more balance in life by prioritizing what they need first, then you will have the energy to give to others.

April 5, 2007

Playground bullies and other good stuff

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:35 am by relief1

My daugther finally duked it out after battling a playground/school/masjid bully for over a year! Surprise surprise she finally stood up for her self after years of taking the name calling, hitting, tauting, ridiculing etc. from this girl who goes to her school and to top it off the masjid.

She threatened to kick both my 10 year old and the 6 year old daughter and my 10 year old fought back so this is her first fight outside of battling it out with her siblings. While I would have preferred she didn’t do it on the masjid playground I see it as a milestone for her and perhaps she won’t have to endure a lifetime of bullying as she is no longer terrified of these girls and realizes that she does not have to just sit back and take it.  I told her that the next time this girl shows up at the masjid to let me know so that I can meet the girl and try to talk to the girl’s mother. I can’t imagine the mother knows what a terror of a daughter she is raising.  My daughter is not the first girl she has fought at the masjid and Allah willing she won’t be the last.

March 15, 2007

Cloudy Won’t You Stay Away

Posted in A Good Whine at 10:43 pm by relief1

It’s been a heck of a month thus far.  My husband has been planning his trip to London to see his family and finally bought the ticket today al hamdulilaah.  I’m glad he’s getting an opportunity to go and hope that his business doesn’t go under during my management of it while he’s away.

I think he made me real paranoid as he told me that most of his clientele are very anti-muslim and if some of his customers walk in see him and walk out – so Allah knows how they would take to someone clearly Muslim in hijab so I just feel uncomfortable handling the reigns but inshallah things will go well.

My kids are getting better it seems. They are more manageable and they are starting to learn this deen.  I gave two of them and islamic quiz and they knew the answers to almost everything I asked al hamdulilaah so they are retaining what they learned.

My 4 year old has a new thing she picked up around the way it’s called:

“Talk to the hand” and she places her hand up in front of you.  This is done when you are saying something she doesn’t want to hear or have time for. She’ll just put her hand up in a stop signal fashion and advise you to talk to the hand. Such precious rudeness I was quite taken aback!!

Little gems like this come flowing from her mouth like water out of a faucet. I still haven’t made it home to see my family as I was sick the last time I planned to go, then my mom got out of dodge with a quick trip to Florida for sun and no stress.

She planned and went the same week I was planning on going to see her.

I would like to move from my current locale because I just can’t take it any more. The friendliest people are the Wal-Mart cashiers! Wal-Mart staff are the only people I see regularly – perhaps I should buy stock in Wal-Mart.

For Muslims trying to save money I recommend Amana Mutual Funds by Saturna Capital. I moved my IRA there that my previous employer had given me and al hamdulilaah the money is gaining strength after strength.  It is a good mechanism to save money for hajj, hijrah, or just general family savings.

I’m falling asleep on the keyboard so I will sign off for now.

March 10, 2007

Call Upon Allah, And He will respond to you

Posted in Heart Softener, Living to Die at 3:05 pm by relief1

Ibraaheem Ibn Adham (d.160H) – rahimahullaah – said, when he was asked about the verse:

Call upon Me, and I will respond to you.” [Sooratul Ghaafir 40:60]

“They said: We call upon Allaah, but He does not answer us.” So he said:

“You know Allaah; yet you do not obey Him. You recite the Qur`aan; yet you do not act according to it. You know Shaytaan; yet you continue agreeing with him. You claim to love the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam); yet you abandon his Sunnah (guidance and way). You claim to love Paradise; yet you do not work for it. You claim to fear the Fire; yet you do not stop sinning. You say: ‘Indeed death is true’; yet you have not prepared for it. You busy yourself with the faults of others; yet you do not look at your own faults. You eat the sustenance that Allaah provides for you; yet you are not grateful to Him. And you bury your dead; yet you have not heeded its lesson.”  It was related by al-Haafidh Ibn Rajab in al-Khshoo’ fis Salaah (p. 62)

Shaykh ‘Alee Hasan al-Halabee said:

“So keep in mind the point of death, and of one’s passing on to the next life, and the number of sins that one has committed and the small amount of good that one has done. Think of the good that you would earnestly like to do at that time – then bring that forward and do it today. And think of all those things which you would desire to clear yourself of – then clear yourself from them now.”

We Were Not Created in Vain

Posted in Heart Softener, Living to Die at 2:57 pm by relief1

According to Abdallaah bin Bakr bin Habeeb al-Sahmee: We were told by a man in the mosque of al-Junaabidh that `Umar bin `Abd al-`Azeez delivered a sermon to the people in Khunaasirah in which he said:

O people, you were not created in vain, nor will you be left to yourselves [See 75:36]. Rather, you will return to a place in which Allaah will descend in order to judge among you and distinguish between you. Destitute and lost are those who forsake the all- encompassing mercy of Allaah, and they will be excluded from Paradise, the borders of which are as wide as the heavens and the earth. Don’t you know that protection, tomorrow, will be limited to those who feared Allaah [today], and to those who sold something ephemeral for something permanent, something small for something great, and fear for protection? Don’t you realize that you are the descendants of those who have perished, that those who remain will take their place after you, and that this will continue until you are all returned to Allaah? Every day you dispatch to Allaah, at all times of the day, someone who has died, his term having come to an end. You bury him in a crack in the earth and then leave him without a pillow or a bed. He has parted from his loved ones, severed his connections with the living, and taken up residence in the earth, whereupon he comes face to face with the accounting. He is mortgaged to his deeds: He needs his accomplishments, but not the material things he left on earth.

Therefore, fear Allaah before death descends and it’s appointed times expire. I swear by Allaah that I say those words to you knowing that I myself have committed more sins than any of you; I therefore ask Allaah for forgiveness and I repent. Whenever we learn that one of you needs something, I try to satisfy his need to the extent that I am able. Whenever I can provide satisfaction to one of you out of my possessions, I seek to treat him as my equal and my relative, so that my life and his life are of equal value. I swear by Allaah that had I wanted something else, namely, affluence, then it would have been easy for me to utter the word, aware as I am of the means for obtaining this. But Allaah has issued in an eloquent Book and a just example (sunnah) by means of which He guides us to obedience and proscribes disobedience. He lifted up the edge of his robe and began to cry and sob, causing the people around him to break into tears. Then he stepped down. That was the last sermon he gave before he died, may Allaah have mercy on him.

For variant versions of this sermon, see Ibn `Abd al-Hakam, Seerah 43-45, 132-33; Ibn Katheer, Bidaayah, IX, 199; This translation was taken from The History of al-Tabaree, Vol XXIV, by D.S.Powers/

In the same book, it is also related that, According to `Abdallaah – his father – al-Fudayl – `Abdallaah: I was told that `Umar bin `Abd al-Azeez wrote to the Syrian army as follows:

“As-salaamu `alaikum wa rahmatullaah. Now then, whoever contemplates death frequently speaks little, while he who knows that death is certain is satisfied with a little. Farewell.”

My Comments: Such a beautiful heart softening reminder for us all. I think of all the things I complain about and get stressed over when the biggest thing to remember is that we will die and it is our deeds that will be reckoned with at that time. 
What have I sent forward for tomorrow? What have I sent forward for that Day?

March 9, 2007

Bank of America filth

Posted in A Good Whine at 3:09 am by relief1

Well today is another day of woe be me at my lovely riba bank of america!

I am searching for a new bank as I am tired of the customer disservice. I’m not looking for great interest rates or loan products, just someone who can receive my deposits with a smile and give me access to the money the next day so I can write checks as need be.  Unfortunately that Bank of America is totally callous, cold and uncaring.  Truth that I am not the only one can be read at a website called www.bankofamericasucks.com !  Now this site gave me much a great laugh – the comments and insights from the BOA dissatisfied customers and even the BOA employees who come on board to defend their company from it’s not so customer friendly business practices.

This bank if messing up our company’s payroll.  We make a deposit to cover payroll which must be done this week. Never in the past have they put a hold but this particular day my husband did the deposit and maybe his Taliban looks made them think ole lets hold off on releasing the funds on this one.  So we have to wait 7 days to clear as opposed to one day.  I go in the next day to talk to the branch manager and they refuse to budge. Our employees want their money, they are broke and we only pay once a month as it is so I have to finagle all these different accounts, and pull money from out of the sky, and hope our current customers pay us in cash so we can deposit money before payday tomorrow.

Then I go searching online for a new bank. I type in the bank name and then complaints in Google and most come up with pages and pages of complaints of customer disservice.  I keep looking at these voucher checks that I just bought and thinking how I won’t be able to use them at the new bank and convincing myself to somehow stay there until my checks are used. But with less that 10 employees and a monthly payday it will be a year before these checks are used.  I also am forced to go in there and deposit the daily cash receipts for the business so even if I get a new bank the old Bank of America will still have to be used.

I’ve never felt hatred for a bank before this week and I wish it wasn’t like this but they keep doing things like this and I know they wouldn’t care if 100 million people withdrew their money, so my taking my little pennies out won’t affect them one iota.

February 19, 2007

Keeping it Real

Posted in Keeping it Read at 4:45 am by relief1

Verily your children are a test for you.

Yes, Allah speaks the truth and my children are a test for me.

I am striving to do what I can to keep my children on the siratul mustaqeen. I have a 6 month old girl, 4 year old girl, 6 year old girl, 7 year old boy, and 9 year old girl. 

Everyone dotes on the baby, but the rest fight amongst each other like cats and dogs. I’m trying to do what I can to raise them islamically although I am overwhelmed with my responsibilities right now. My family live hundreds of miles away and my only friend is my husband, so al hamdulilaah for him.

I feel alone although my dad sent me the card I initially posted stating that ‘You Are Not Alone’. Loneliness stems from not being understood, not being able to express how you are feeling or have those feeling acknowledged or validating, so while I am not alone on a desert island I can be lonely at times. I don’t like being lonely or isolated so I keep searching for a better place, although hubby says that wherever we go it’s always the same thing.  In a way he is right as I am a firm believer in the fact that you never miss what you have until its gone, gone, gone.

I miss living in Maryland/Virgnina area and believe that was the best muslim community by far at the time that I was living there. If I go back it won’t be the same as many of the people have moved, married, made hijrah and the like but still I remininensce as I remember what was and hope for what could be.  People change though and yet they still remain the same.

The Companion of the Dunya

Posted in Heart Softener at 4:37 am by relief1

 And do not burden yourself with its worries, since you have seen with your own eyes its misfortunes and calamities, and you know for certain the grief encountered when separating from it.   And tightly fasten whatever has become distressing in it, in order to make it easy and comfortable when it befalls you.  And be the happiest person concerning your present status in it, and be most wary about what you want further
from it (i.e. higher positions, more wealth, etc.).  For indeed whenever a companion of the worldly life (Dunyaa) trusts one of its pleasures, it dispatches to him something despised from itself.   And when such a companion obtains something from the Dunyaa, he slips up on it, twisting his foot and so he falls over as a result of it.
Anything of the Dunyaa that makes one happy, is only a deception, and whatever of it is beneficial [today], is harmful the next day.   And any ease in it is connected to trials and misfortunes, and anything that remains in it will be made to perish.  Its joys are  mixed with grief and the last years of one’s life in it are full of weakness and frailness.  So adopt the attitude towards it of someone who abstains from it and separates himself from it.   And do not have the attitude of someone who is its lover and shows tender affection for it.
Know that it eliminates the one who lived and resided in it and that it inflicts suffering upon the one who had faith in it and was dazzled by it.   Whatever departs from it, will not return and so it slips away.  And whatever is to come in it is not made known, such that one could expect it.
Be cautious of it!  For indeed its claims are lies and its expectations are deceptions.  Its life is full of hard work and its happiness is murky and full of grief.  And you are upon danger with respect to the Dunyaa.   Either there is a blessing in it, which is soon to perish, or else there is an affliction in it that is descending.  Either there is a calamity that will cause pain or there is a lethal decisive death.
If only the companion of the Dunyaa had realized it, he would have seen that life had been hard and difficult on him, and that he was upon danger with respect to any of its graces, and that he was wary and cautious with respect to the needs he had, and that he was certain of death.   So even if the Creator, the Most High, had not informed anything about [the ills of] the Dunyaa, nor had expounded any examples about it, nor had ordered us to abstain from it, then the Dunyaa itself should be enough to warn even the one who is asleep and would arouse even the one who is negligent and indifferent.
And how much more so is this when there came from Allaah, the Most High, one who alerted and deterred the people from it and who warned and admonished concerning it?!  So it is of no worth to Allaah, not even being worth the equivalent of an  insignificant weight to Allaah, the Most High.   Not even being worth the measure of a small pebble to Him, the Most High.  Not even the measure of a single grain of soil.
And there is no created thing that I know of, which is more hateful to Him than this Dunyaa, and He has not looked at it ever since creating it, out of hatred for it.

Coping with Mental Illness

Posted in From the Heart, Mental Illness at 4:34 am by relief1

Shaykh `Abd al-`Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) concerning mental illness & medication said:
It is permissible to treat sickness according to scholarly consensus. The Muslim may go to a doctor for internal sickness, injuries, nervous problems and so on, for him to diagnose his sickness and treat it appropriately, using medicines that are permitted according to Islam, according to his medical knowledge, because this comes under the heading of taking the usual means, and it does not contradict the idea of putting one’s trust in Allaah.

Allaah has sent down the disease and He has sent down the cure;those who know it know it, and those who do not know it do not know it, but Allaah does not put the healing for His slaves in something that He has forbidden to them. It is not permissible for a sick person to go to the soothsayers or fortunetellers who claim to have knowledge of the unseen, in order to find out from them what his sickness is. Nor is it permissible for him to believe what they tell him, for they speak without knowledge or they summon the jinn to ask their help in doing what they want to do. The ruling on these people is that they are kaafirs who are misguided, if they claim to have knowledge of the unseen…
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 3/274

The scholars of the Standing Committee said, answering a similar
Trust in Allaah and think positively of Him; delegate your affairs to Him, and do not despair of His mercy, bounty and kindness, for He has not sent down any disease but He has also sent down the cure. You should take the means and continue to consult specialist doctors who have knowledge of disease and its treatment. Recite Soorat al-
Ikhlaas, Soorat al-Falaq and Soorat al-Naas over yourself three times, and blow into your hands after each time, and wipe your face and whatever you can reach of your body. Do that repeatedly night and day and when going to sleep. Also recite over yourself Soorat al-Faatihah at any time of night or day, and recite Aayat al-Kursiy
when you lie in your bed at night. These are the best ruqyahs with which a person may treat himself and protect himself from evil. Call upon Allaah by reciting the du’aa’ for one who is in distress, and say:
“Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah al-`Azeem al-Haleem, laa ilaaha ill-Allaah rabb al-`arsh il-`azeem, laa ilaaha ill-Allaah rabb al-samawaati wa rabb al-ard wa rabb al-`arsh il-`azeem (There is no god but Allaah, the All-Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allaah, the Lord of the mighty Throne, there is no god but Allaah, Lord of the
heavens, Lord of the earth, and Lord of the mighty Throne).”

Also treat yourself with the ruqyah of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
Allaahumma Rabb an-naas, mudhhib al-ba’s ishfi anta al-Shaafi, laa shaafiya illa anta, shifaa’an laa yughaadir saqaman (O Allaah, Lord of mankind, the One Who relieves hardship, grant healing, for there is no healer but You, a healing that leaves no trace of sickness) And recite other dhikrs and ruqyahs and du’aa’s which are mentioned in the books of hadeeth, and which are mentioned by al-Nawawi in Riyaadh al-Saaliheen and Kitaab al-Adhkaar. Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 1/297


You Are Not Alone

Posted in From the Heart at 4:00 am by relief1

You are not alone

In sadness

You are not alone

in grieving

You are Not alone

in missing

what you’ve known

As friends and family gather,

In the time that will come after,

Please, always know that

You are not alone

Ahlan wa Sahlan (Welcome) to my blog and know for a surety that you are not alone.  We are all out here together in the world striving to make a change and striving to make a difference.

This blog typical of other blogs is not alone in its perspective. It is the perspective of a Muslim convert who spent half of her life in the world trying to find a place, a place to make a home, to create a future.

I’ve found that place and that is in being Muslim and learning to live for Allah and knowing that I will die one day and hoping that inshallah if I die that my deeds of the day will be for me and not against me. That my reckoning will be swift and that I will be given my record in my right hand and I will be happy and say ‘yes, read my record – tell me my account.

I’ve been Muslim now since 1994 and I have grown and evolved and gone from highs and lows, from good to the bad, from mini-skirt to long skirts to jilbab to niqab and finally at home in jilbab and hijab al hamdulilaah.

As Muslims we are not alone although we are strangers in this life. But as strangers we will find people who we hold common interests with and we will share because

We Are Not Alone