Why is it that men have a double standard when dealing with ex-spouses? Granted they can usually easily remarry them as a cowife but why I don’t get it.

My zoge is out of the country visiting parents and his 2 kids and recently seperated wife.  He emails me from her house and says he had to use the internet, which he did and his mom and sister don’t have it at their house so he had to use hers of course.  He had mentioned this before he left but said that he would be in the house and she would be at a friends next door as she has friends who are her neighbors. 

I guess when push came to shove, she just went in another room while he used the internet so the story goes. She was there in the house but the kids were there so you know and his son is 13 and his nephew 14 were there so it’s okay.  This is after he took them all grocery shopping as he said they didn’t have a lot of food in the house.  Al hamdulilaah that he bought them groceries but couldn’t he have given her the money or given his son the money and let them shop on their own.

Something just doesn’t sit right with me about this scenario.  I’m sure he wouldn’t like me with my ex-husband grocery shopping or using the internet at his house.

So any how – he is out of the country visiting his family and I am here holding down 2 businesses of his and our 5 kids, so I am overworked and stressed and he is being the typical male. I have to manage his business make sure the employees show up, handle irate customers, get kids ready for school, cook dinner, clean, fix and repair computers, handle payroll, check his email and respond to pressing issues.

I’m just exasperated really with him and his islamic adab and had hoped for better and well this is what I get. For some reason I don’t feel jealous, far from it. I just feel a bit perturbed that he would so zealously violate the free mixing standards set out by Allah.  I don’t think he intended to do this but it appears a bit flaky and when I ask if he would like to have her back, he doesn’t know?

And as the song goes, ‘ Why do fools fall in love?’ Do you get it?